A blue life
by purplepagoda
Summary: Meredith has to deal with the consequences of one of the biggest mistakes of her life.It's not just her life she's screwing with anymore.
1. Little boy blue

October 21st 2006: Meredith Grey was very aware that when she had a bad feeling about something to listen to it. She knew what she had done was wrong, before it was even over. Now she was paying for it. This was her karma. There was no way she could escape karma this time. She couldn't run away from this mistake. NO this time she had to deal with the consequence. She just didn't think that it would be this serious. Now her sentence had been served, and she was staring it in the face.

Boy had she screwed up. It had been a hectic day, heck it had been a hectic year. Nothing had gone right. She hadn't been prepared for anything that was thrown her way. She hadn't planned ahead. She was screwing up royally. She couldn't seem to do anything right. Why did this sort of stuff always have to happen to her? It wasn't her fault she made such bad choices. She couldn't quite understand how bad choices always had to have consequences. It was unfair. Now she had something else she could screw up. Life wasn't working out at all the way she had planned. Life had almost been something of the past. Meredith was lying in a hospital bed unconscious. Christina, was sitting next to her trying to keep her composure. It was difficult though, Meredith nearly died. Christina was a good friend. Just as Christina looks up she sees Meredith's eyes open.

"Meredith?" Christina says in a shaky voice.  
"What happened?" Meredith asks.  
"You don't remember?"  
"The last thing I remember is being in the elevator,"  
"Meredith that was close to 2 hours ago,"  
Meredith takes a deep breath as she places her hand on her stomach. She gasps, and starts to hyperventilate.  
"Meredith calm down. Everything is ok," Christina instructs.  
"But..."  
"Calm down,"  
"I..."  
"Meredith look..." Christina points beside her.  
"Is..."  
"He's fine."  
_Flashback:  
__Christina, and Meredith are in the elevator on the way to check on their patients. Meredith is leaning against the wall of the elevator when she winces. Christina looks at her as Meredith says, "It's too early," then she passes out.  
__End of flashback  
_"Are you sure?" Meredith asks as her eyes darken with worry.  
"Yeah,"  
"But..."  
"Here," Christina sighs as she places the tiny bundle wrapped inside a blue blanket in Meredith's arms.  
Silence falls over the room. Neither of the women says a word for minutes. Meredith just stares at the bundle in her arms. She then decides to relieve the silence.  
"I guess I know who looks like," Meredith mutters.  
"Yeah," Christina agrees.  
Meredith stares at the tiny baby. His face is so angelic. He has a little blue cap on that somewhat hides his curly brown hair. His eyes are closed, and his arms folded across his chest.  
"Christina do they know?"  
"No," Christina reassures her.  
"Thank you," Meredith whispers.  
"Uh huh..."  
"Christina what happened?" Meredith asks again.  
"You passed out in the elevator," Christina confesses.  
"Oh..."  
"Meredith why didn't you say anything earlier today?" Christina questions.  
"I don't know," Meredith admits.  
"You scared us,"  
"Us?"  
"Yeah, when the elevator Doctor Montgomery Shepard was standing there."  
"Christina what did I do wrong? Am I just a bad person?"  
"What are you talking about Meredith?"  
"It's my fault..."  
"No it's not Meredith,"  
"But why?"  
"You were just stressed, it isn't your fault," Christina tries to console her  
"I can't do this. I'm not one of those people. This is not what was supposed to happen," Meredith rants.  
"Meredith get a hold of yourself. It doesn't matter why it happened, or how it happened it did and now you have to deal with it,"  
"I have a baby..." Meredith cries.  
"Yeah and you're waking him up,"  
"I don't want to be someone's mom. I'll just screw him up. Why did I think I could do this? I can't do this. Especially under the circumstances,"  
"Meredith you're the one who wanted to do this. Remember?"  
"Yeah, but I'm a mess. What was I thinking?"  
"You were thinking that it wasn't his fault. You told me that. You said that you couldn't punish him because he had no control over it,"  
"But I..."  
"Meredith you're not the center of attention anymore. You have someone else depending on you now,"  
"I know,"  
The baby starts to whimper. Meredith immediately snaps out of it, and turns her attention to the little boy. "Shh!"  
Meredith soothes.  
"He's so tiny and helpless," Meredith continues.  
"Meredith he may be tiny and helpless, but you're doing fine,"  
"How big is he?"  
"5 lbs 1 oz,"  
"I can't do this,"  
"Meredith you have to,"  
"I can't."  
"Yes you can,"  
The baby starts to cry. Meredith looks at him. She pulls him closer to her heart and then turns to Christina.  
"He's hungry ,"  
"Ok, do you want me to go get a bottle?"  
"No can you just hand me a blanket?"  
"Sure,"  
"Meredith what are you doing?" Christina asks as Meredith drapes the blanket over her and the baby.  
"What does it look like I'm doing?"  
"Meredith I don't understand why you're so worried about this? It looks like you're a natural,"  
"Christina, I just don't know how I'm supposed to do this by myself. I mean George doesn't even know,"  
"You don't know that,"  
"It doesn't matter if he does or not, I just wish I hadn't been so stupid. Who am I to drag an innocent life into the mess I call my life?"  
"Meredith we all make choices in our lives, some are good, and some are bad. Sometimes we have difficulty seeing the good ones when we've had to deal with so many bad ones."  
"What are you saying?"  
"Meredith this is a good one,"  
"How can you know that?"  
"I don't know I just do,"  
"I screwed up..."  
"No you didn't," Christina reassures her.  
"I have a baby..." Is all Meredith says.  
"A healthy baby. He may be early, but he's perfectly healthy,"  
Meredith takes off the blanket.  
"Hey!" Christina shrieks as she quickly turns the other way.  
"I'm done,"  
"Good,"  
Meredith just stares at the little boy. He opens his eyes for a second and looks at his mother. As Meredith holds him he places his tiny little fist over her heart. He was such an adorable baby. He looked like a baby doll though. He was tiny but a head full of dark curly hair. When Meredith looked at him the entire world seem to stop. Christina slips out as Meredith stares at her baby. The room is completely silent except for the sound of the baby breathing. As Meredith stares at her newly born baby boy nothing else seems important. Meredith pulls the baby closer to her. She kisses his forehead, and then continues to marvel at him.

_A/N: I hope you R+R. I would also like some name suggestions. I was thinking about the name Ireland, but I the more I thought about it the more girly it sounded. So voice your opinion, please._


	2. 1st day

The following morning: Meredith had been awake for hours. Luckily she was at the end of her shift when she went into labor, so nobody noticed. Meredith figured that Izzy had been to tired when she got home to notice Meredith wasn't there. Meredith was waiting for someone to bring the baby up from the nursery. She had asked the nurse a few minutes earlier.  
An unusually cheerful woman walks in pushing the bassinet.

"Delivery," Christina smiles as she pushes the bassinet to the side of Meredith's bed.

"Are you smiling? This early in the morning?"

"Yes I am,"

"Why? You never smile. Especially around babies. You hate babies,"

"I don't hate babies,"

"You walk the other direction when you see one,"

"Ok I do hate most babies,"

"You hate all babies,"

"Not true,"

"Really what baby don't you hate?" Meredith asks as she lifts the tiny baby out of the bassinet.

"I don't hate him," Christina reveals.

"Really? And why not?"

"I don't know,"

"Gee that's refreshing,"

"I don't have time to argue with you this morning. I have to get down stairs my shift started five minutes ago,"

"Bye,"

Meredith stares at the baby for a few minutes. She gently lifts his cap off to look at his hair. During this process she manages to startle him. He opens his eyes and stares at her.

"Hi baby boy," Meredith says as she looks into her sons blue eyes. He continues to stare at her, but he begins to suck on his fingers.

"Are you hungry little man?"

Meredith finishes feeding the baby just as Doctor Bailey walks in.

"How are you feeling Meredith?"

"Fine," She says not taking her eyes off of her baby boy.

"Good. Why don't you give me the baby so that you can get dressed?"

"Why?"

"You're going home today,"

"But he's early,"

"Meredith he's perfectly healthy. His lungs are well developed, and he weighs 5 pounds,"

"I don't have anything done. I don't want to go home. There isn't anyone there,"

Meredith thinks about how little she has done in the baby's room. The baby's room is George's old room. Nothing is done. There are boxes everywhere. The crib, changing table, clothes, toys, bassinet, stroller, mobile, and car seat are all still in boxes sitting in the middle of the room. The only thing Meredith had managed to do was paint it pale blue, and put the baby's name on the wall where his crib would be.

"Meredith you'll be fine,"

"I don't even have his car seat,"

"Christina brought it in this morning. I also had her bring him in an outfit,"

"I can't go home. I'll loose him, or forget him, or drop him,"

"Meredith it's time to go home,"

"No I've only been here..."

"25 hours,"

"Doctor Bailey please don't make me. Where am I supposed to put him? I don't even have his crib or bassinet out of their boxes."

"Meredith you need to go home. You can't stay here forever,"

"I don't think that I'm ready to take him home yet,"

"Meredith you have to,"

"What if George sees me?"

"Who cares?"

"I do,"

"Meredith you're more likely for George to see him if you stay at the hospital,"

"I don't want George to ever see him,"

"Meredith I understand that you're nervous to go home. I know you're scared. You have a brand new baby, but Meredith you'll be more relaxed if you go home,"

"No I won't, no one is at home if I screw up. What if I fall asleep and forget him. Or forget to feed him, or change him. Or I forget that I have him," Meredith rants as she begins to hyperventilate.

"Meredith calm down. Please. Breath. You have to breath,"

"Dr. Bailey I can't do this. I'm all alone,"

"You're not all alone you have a baby you have to take care of,"

"Yeah. Exactly,"

"Meredith he doesn't bite, don't be afraid of him,"

"I'm not afraid of him. I'm afraid of screwing him up. I've already screwed up, by letting George be the other half of his genes. Dr. Bailey, the baby's not even 2 days old and I've already messed his whole life up. George is his father, and I didn't even tell him that I was pregnant. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell George, or my baby. Dr. Bailey I have to raise my little boy knowing that he'll never know who his father. I don't want him to either,"

"Go put on your clothes, and I'll dress the baby. Then you need to go home. It's a lot more peaceful there. Just get dressed, and go home. I put your keys in his diaper bag,"

"Fine," Meredith sighs as she nods her head. She takes her I.V. out and gets out of the hospital bed as she hands the baby to Dr. Bailey. A few minutes later she returns from the bathroom fully dressed.

"Now you need to go down to the third floor and fill out his birth certificate. It's already on file,"

"Ok," Meredith agrees as she take the tiny little boy dressed in a blue layette from doctor Bailey. Doctor Bailey leaves. Meredith wraps her baby up then flings his diaper bag on her shoulder, and then picks the little boy up and cradles him in her arms as she walks out of the room. She walks down the hall and catches the elevator. She pushes the button and closes the door. Before she reaches her destination the elevator opens to let someone on. As she looks up from the baby as the door opens to a ding her glance is caught by the one person she doesn't want to see.

"Meredith?" George questions.

"George," Meredith questions.

George steps onto the elevator and just stares at the little boy in Meredith's arms.

"Uh... wh... who... how.. I..." George babbles.

"George please don't do this, not right now. I can't do this,"

"Do what?"

"This," Meredith says as she pushes the button to keep the door closed.

"What are you talking about?"

"How do you not get it?"

"Get what?" George asks.

"Why I suddenly have a baby I didn't tell you about?"

"That's _your_ baby?" George asks obliviously.

"Yes George," Meredith squeals waking the baby.

"So _why_ didn't you tell me?" George wonders out loud.

"Because he's..." Meredith pauses not sure that she can bring herself to say it.

"Because he's what?"

"First of all he's early. And second of all he's... yours," Meredith admits as she allows the door to open and walks off the elevator. George just stands on the elevator dumbfounded. Not sure what to do, or say, or think. That was just how Meredith's life went. She was the most unlucky person ever. She had told him, now she just had to wait. But she'd be occupied with a baby, that would keep her mind off of it. Now if she could just make it out of the hospital with out having George tracking her down.

_A/N: I think that I've settled on a name. I have and it's final unless you guys have one you like better. Either way it'll probably end up the one I like most. My decision on a name for the baby is... Caden Matthew. I'm not sure whether I want to spell Caden with a K or C either. Please help me out here._


	3. Men

Meredith gets home by early evening just before the sun was ready to set. Meredith reaches her house and struggles to get in the door without dropping the baby. She finally gets in and sits the baby down. She locks the door behind her. She sits the carseat on the couch and takes the baby out. She drops the diaper bag next to the carseat and walks up the stairs carefully to the baby's room. She pushes the slightly open door the rest of the way open. Instead of seeing a mound of boxes she sees a fully put together nursery. She walks around the room to take a look at everything. She gently sits the baby in his clean white crib. She stares at the name above his bed.

"I guess we're home Kaden," She walks over to the changing table to take the plastic off of it realizing she'll need to use it at some point during the day. On top of the plastic is a note that is folded in half. It simply says Meredith. Meredith reads it to herself.

_Dear Meredith,_

_Figured you probably needed a nursery before you brought home the baby. Don't worry you'll be fine. _

_Christina, Izzy, Miranda_

The note was simple but Meredith felt a breath of relief as she read it. As she took the plastic off the basinet she heard baby Kaden stir. She quickly rushes to his side. He innocently looks up at her as he sucks his thumb.

"No I don't want any of that,"

She looks around the room for his stuff. She looks in the drawers and finds his clothes. She then looks in the closet and finds what she is looking for. She also finds a basket of goodies from Dr. Bailey. She then walks back over to Kaden.

"Here trade you," she says as she puts the binky in his mouth. "Mommy can throw away your binky, but I can't throw away your thumb," she reminds him as he continues to stare at her. "What?" Meredith had never been the motherly type. But suddenly she was in mother mode. Something came over her the second she realized that her baby was no longer inside of her. All she wanted to was protect him. Which was strange for Meredith. Normally she only thought of herself. Some how she knew exactly what her little boy wanted. She picks him up and cradles him in her arms. As she walks to her room he drifts back to sleep. When she reaches her room she finds his basinet next to her bed. Instead of putting him in it she sits down with him on her bed. Normally this would bore her. Doing nothing but staring at someone. But she felt the need for nothing else. She too drifted off to sleep. When she woke it was dark and the baby was still sleeping peacefully in her arms.

"Meredith, are you home?" A familiar voice called from downstairs. Meredith doesn't yell back afraid she'll wake the baby. Instead she sits him in the basinet and headed to meet Izzy. Things between Izzy and Meredith hadn't always been great, but they both tried their hardest. As Meredith starts down the hall she sees Izzy approaching from the other end.

"Where is he?" Izzy whispers.

"Who?" Meredith jokes.

"The baby,"

"In my room,"

"Can I see him?"

"I don't see why not. You do live here,"

"That is true,"

Meredith leads Izzy into her room and stops at the basinet.

"There he is," Meredith smiles.

"Aw, he's adorable,"

"Especially when he's sleeping,"

"Which will be 85 percent of the time,"

"True,"

"Can I hold him?"

"Actually I need to feed him, and change him,"

"He's sleeping. It can wait. Why don't you go take a shower I can watch him for a little while. I can feed him, and change him too. It's not like I've never seen a baby before,"

"I have to feed him, but then you can change him,"

"Ok, while you that I have to get something for him,"

"What?"

"Just a little something,"

Just as Meredith finishes feeding the baby Izzy comes back up the stairs with her 'little something'.

She carries in a blue bag.

"This is actually more for you than it his for him,"

Meredith just looks at Izzy as she sits down next to her on the bed.

"A key finder?"

"No it's a baby finder,"

"Ha ha,"

"That's just a gag gift. I got him something else,"

Meredith opens the other part of the gift. It's a sleeper with baby animals on it.

"If you notice the animals are doctors," Izzy points out.

"I'm going to go take a shower now. Please don't lose my baby while I'm gone,"

"Ok,"

Meanwhile at Derek and Addison's:

"I can't believe I didn't see you at all yesterday. I was so busy," Derek says as he sits on the edge of the bed.

"I was too,"

"Lot of people having babies?"

"You wouldn't believe. On of my patients passed out in the elevator. She didn't tell anyone she was having contractions. I'm not sure she knew. The baby was a few weeks early. But he was fine. But she didn't regain consciousness for a couple hours. It was crazy. Luckily she's fine now,"

"What was she doing at the hospital if she didn't know she was having contractions?"

"She works there," at that moment Addison was aware she had said too much. It was one of those things men never pick up on. Women at the hospital knew a pregnant woman when she saw one. Even if she wasn't very big. The men however were completely oblivious.

"I didn't know anyone there was pregnant,"

"uh..."

"Was it someone I know?"

She couldn't lie to him. Not after everything they had been through. "Yeah. You know her,"

"Are you sure? Because there isn't anyone I know having a baby,"

"It's probably because she didn't really advertise the fact. I think it was one of those things she wanted a limited amount of people to know,"

"Why did she tell you?"

"I'm her ob/gyn,"

"Right. So who had a baby?"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. Let's just drop it until you do,"

"Ok,"

"So how was your day?"

"Yesterday we were short interns. Nobody could find Yang. I couldn't believe that. I mean you know how she is about surgeries. And then I have no idea where Meredith went. Then finally after surgery Yang showed up. Bailey didn't seem to be to alarmed that Meredith wasn't there. Which was a little odd. You know how Bailey is about her interns,"

Addison was waiting for her husband to catch on. Put his day and her day together. Finally it happened. Over the years Addison noticed it took men longer to pick up on things than it did for women. All she had to do was smile, and say congratulations to a patient if she was pregnant. But the woman would have to blatantly tell her husband for him to figure out what was going on.

"Wait... no..."

"What?"

"Nothing,"

"Say it,"

"I was just going to ask if Meredith was your patient, but..."

"But what?"

"Was Meredith your patient?"

"What?"

"Was Meredith your patient?" He repeats.

"Yes,"

"Meredith had a baby?"

"Yes,"

"But... is,"

"It's a healthy boy. Look please just go to sleep,"

"So who?"

"I can't tell you,"

"Why not?"

"It's not you. Ok?"

"Ok,"

Things were going to be a mess at Seattle Grace for quite a while.


	4. A letter and a confession

After Meredith gets out of the shower she finds the baby peacefully sleeping in Izzy's arms. The doorbell rings. Izzy hands the baby to Meredith and races to answer it.

"Coming," she yells from halfway down the stairs. She opens the door to find George standing in front of her.

"George what are you doing here?"

"Can I talk to Meredith?"

"No she's sleeping."

"What about the baby?"

"He's asleep too."

"But..."

"George please leave."

"Fine but will you give Meredith this?" George asks as he hands Izzy an envelope.

"Yes, now just leave," she agrees.

George stares at the ground as he walks away. Izzy calmly walks upstairs and hands Meredith the envelope.

"What's this?" Meredith asks as she lays the baby in the basinet next to her bed.

"I don't know. George told me to give it to you."

"Oh."

Izzy leaves Meredith's room to go to her own. Meredith plops down in her bed, and opens the letter. She turns on the lamp as she prepares to read the note that is neatly folded in half. She slowly reads the George's atrocious, nearly non-legible hand writing.

_Meredith,_

_Why didn't you tell me about the baby? Don't you think I deserve to know? What's your problem? How can you not even tell me about my own baby? That's pretty lame. You're always thinking about what's best for you. Did you ever think that telling me might be the best thing for our baby? Don't you think I deserve to be part of this kid's life? Apparently not. I hope you don't change your mind because I'm out. I'm leaving. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't care as long as it's away from you. _

This lousy accusatory letter wasn't even signed. George was even more of a jerk than Meredith had ever realized. Meredith throws the letter off one side of the bed, and then peers into the bassinet on the other side, near her. She just stares at the sleeping infant. The infant that somehow got roped into being her son. As she looks at him all she can feel is love, even though things surrounding his existence aren't great. She just wants him to be happy. She pulls the covers that he's kicked off back over him, and then walks down the hall to Izzy's room. She gently knocks on the slightly open door.

"Come in."

Meredith finds Izzy in her pajamas reading a magazine. She sits down on the edge of the bed next to her.

"Izzy why didn't I tell George to begin with?"

"Well you told me that you didn't think that he should have to. Especially since it was your mistake. I don't know if that's the truth, but that's what you told me."

"I know. It just seems like this is all a joke. I mean why would any greater being, or whatever it is out there give me a baby. Why would they want to subject anyone to this mess I call my life. I don't know how to be a parent and...." before she can finish her thought she hears a cry. She walks down the hall to her room. She scoops the baby, and his blanket up. When she gets back to Izzy's room to sit down she has a blanket draped over herself, and the baby. As she feeds him, she continues to talk.

"I mean I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't know how to take care of anyone but myself. I can barely do that,"

"Meredith you're doing better than you think you are. Everything happens for a reason. There's always a lesson to be learned. Besides being a parent isn't easy. It's not supposed to be. You'll question whether every decision you make for him is the right one. You'll probably screw up at some point too, but you're going to make mistakes. That's just how it is. And sometimes when you think you're making the biggest mistake of your life, you're really not."

"How on earth do you have so much insight to all of this crap?"

"You don't want to know."

"Yes I do. I want to know how you know so much about babies, and parenthood."

"It's a long story. For another time."

"Izzy please tell me now."

"It's a long story."

"Does it look like I'm going to be any time soon?"

"'When I was sixteen I had a baby, a little girl."

"And?"

"And I gave her up for adoption. At the time I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. But I didn't want to work 80 hours as a waitress every week just so I could feed her. I wanted more for her, and more for me. I couldn't come home every night and know that I'd missed another moment in her life. That I was the only parent she had, and that I was never around. I wanted her to have two parents who loved her, and could provide for her. When I had her, and I held her in my arms I kept thinking that I couldn't give her up. Give her to people I'd never even met. But when I did meet them I knew that I had done the right thing. That she'd have everything she ever desired, and she'd be happy and that's all I wanted."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"It wasn't important. Any way on a different subject did you read George's note?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"He's leaving."

"Oh, I'm sorry,"

"I just wish that I could fix everything. I mean I want Kaden to have a dad, but it obviously isn't going to be George,"

"Meredith I don't think you should get into the pursuit of finding Kaden a dad. It will just lead to more problems in you life. If that guy is out there somewhere you'll find him. But you need to wait until he comes to you,"

"Why?"

"Because Meredith if you keep on at this rate you won't just have one child to find a father for. Besides I think you're perfectly capable of being everything Kaden needs,"

"I can't teach him all those boy things he needs to know,"

"Like what?"

"How to pee standing up,"

"Burke can teach him,"

"But I can't teach him to throw a ball, unless he wants to throw like a girl his whole life,"

"Christina can teach him,"

"Why would Christina teach him?"

"Are you kidding? She could beat all of the guys we know,"

"If you say so,"


	5. A day in the park

Saturday October 22nd 2011: Izzy, Meredith and Kaden are at the park setting up for his birthday party.

"Kaden why don't you go play?" Meredith asks her.

"I don't want to," he answers.

She smiles at him, and bends down. She brushes dark waves of hair out of his face. She plants a kiss on his cheek. "I love you," she tells him.

"Mommy do you know that man?" he asks her.

"What man Kaden?"

He points to someone leaning against the tree at the edge of the park. Meredith looks but doesn't see anyone.

"I don't see anyone."

"He was just there mommy."

"What did he look like?"

"He was short, and had dark hair."

"Kaden stay with Izzy. I'll be right back. Izzy you got him?"

Izzy looks down from the ladder she's standing on to hang streamer. "Yeah, Kaden will you help me?"

"Uh huh," he smiles.

"Can you hand me the balloons?"

He grabs a package off the table and hands them to Izzy. Meredith leaves the shelter house and starts off across the park.

"Where is mommy going?" he asks.

"I don't know. Just stay here with me."

Meredith finally reaches the tree that her son was pointing at. She walks around and finds someone standing behind it.

"What are you doing here?" she asks him angrily.

"I had to see him."

"Why? Why now? He doesn't know you. He doesn't need you. Please just leave him alone. He's better off without you."

"Meredith I screwed up, I know that. Please just give me a chance."

"No," she tells him firmly.

"I just want to see him."

"You can see him from here."

"Meredith you're being unreasonable."

"George what the hell are you doing? You don't have any interest in him for five years, you don't call, or write, you don't do anything and now suddenly you're interested in his life?"

"I made a mistake, a really big mistake, but I want to make it right."

"Why? Give me one good reason why I should even consider giving you a chance."

"I'm dying."

"No you're not."

"Meredith I am. I have pancreatic cancer. I just found out. I know how stupid I was to walk away. Just give me a chance with him. Just give me a day with him."

"I can' have you walk into his life, and get his hopes up only to leave him."

"Meredith please," he begs her.

"No. Please leave," she tells him.

She returns to the shelter house as Derek is walking up. Meredith gives him a kiss.

"Hey buddy," Derek smiles at Kaden.

Kaden turns around and runs into Derek's waiting arms. Derek hugs him, and Kaden squeezes him with all his might. "Hi daddy," he smiles.

"Why don't you and I go get your birthday cake so that mommy can finish up here?"

"Shi...," she catches herself, "Derek I'm so glad that you remembered."

"I'll get the ice cream too. Did you get the coolers?"

"I have coolers full of ice and refreshments in the back of my car."

"I'll see you in a little while," he tells her.

"Hey make sure you have his hand," she reminds him.

"I always hold his hand," he answers.

"Derek..."

"What's going on?"

"We'll talk about it later," she promises.

"Ok," he nods.

After the birthday party Kaden is pooped. He is bathed and in bed by seven thirty. Meredith sits in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea. Derek walks in and sits down next to her.

"You look tired."

"I'm exhausted."

"I thought that we were going to tell everyone today."

"I know but I just had so much on my mind."

"You're not having second thoughts are you?"

"No, of course not."

"We'll tell them soon."

"Derek of course we will. We don't have a choice they'll find out on their own if we don't."

"I know. I'm just so excited. I want to tell everyone."

"I know."

"We should tell Kaden first."

"Yeah," she agrees.

"He'll be so excited to find out that he's going to have a baby sister."

"Yeah," she nods.

"Mere what's bothering you?"

"George..."

"What about him?"

"He was at the park today."

"Why? Why would he come back after five years?"

"He said that he's got pancreatic cancer."

"Is he telling the truth?"

"I don't know. Does it matter? I don't want him around Kaden. You don't walk away from your kid like that."

"Meredith it's ok if he wants to see Kaden."

"That's ok with you?"

"It's ok that he wants to. Who wouldn't want to?" Derek questions.

"You're right, but I'm not about to let him in Kaden's life."

"It's your choice," he tells her.

"I love you," she tells him.

"I love you too. Why else would I put up with all your craziness?"

She smiles at him. She turns her head and finds Kaden standing at the edge of the kitchen. "What are you doing down here? I thought that you were asleep."

"I _was_ asleep mommy, but then I had a bad dream."

"Come here," she tells him.

She lifts him into her lap and snuggles with him. "Tell me about it," Derek suggests.

"I dreamed that I was at the park, but I could find you mommy. And so I went to look for daddy, but I couldn't find him, and I was all alone."

"We'd never let that happen," she assures him.

"Mommy I love you," he smiles.

She stands up with him clinging to her. "Let's put you back in bed," she tells him.

"Mommy can I sleep with you?"

"I..."

Kaden looks at Derek, "Daddy can I sleep with you? Just this once."

"Alright buddy, just this once," Derek answers.


End file.
